k, so im feeling just a wee bit better than last night. still dissappointed, but hey i;ll get over it. but i wanna tell you guys about my wenesday!!!

alright well, school was pretty boring although it was a somewhat short day and lunch was like what 5 minutes longer?! well yea, after school got in the car to go to bart to meet up with trinaaaa, then matt, best, trina, & elaine came up to my house dropped my shit off then off to trinas. i dont really wanna talk about what happened in the car, b/c thats the whole reason why my day ended being shitty so yea. but um, we got dropped off to katrinas, walked to 711.. elaine did her thanng ha. and then back to katrinas, then there you have it! i was hella pumped and shit to get it started but naaaaaaah. cuz i hadda talk to b, and that didnt go so well -_-. so i wasnt in the mood anymore after, and we all ended up not being in the mood anymore so we didnt really drink anymore. but other than that, it was fun chillin outside and shit hella laughin and chiwwwin! haha, yaaa. then b wanted to talk to me again, had some drannnks but aye nothing special. but lemme tell you that was bad bad bad. -_- went back to kattrinas and chillled some more and her little brother is so fucken cute! haha. oh and chester! but yaaaa minus the bullshit, it was a good day. ;-)

but b, i really hope we cud just work things out. you know i still love and care for ya.

ugh. endinnng my night shittty, just like my shitty day. except when we were chillin at trinas cause that was coo!

cant seem to get these tears away..fuck i dont know, so what? is this like the end of us? are we just gonna stop, and just be ona “break”. honestly, i’m so confused. i dont know where to go from here, i wanna make things more than okay and just go back to the way we used to be but we just keep going in circles, and yea we dont even get anywhere. i cant even begin to explain how i feel or what i’m thinking… theres just so much shit going on all at once. i dont know how to keep up..but dont worry i never said i was gonnna give up. but are we coming to an end soon or something? why do we feel this way? why do we act like this? whats the missssing piece to this? i just wannna know, i wanna know to get things straight. i dont wanna be like this ona daily, i know we arent but foreal… it feels like its starrting to be. right when i actually thought things were gonna be better… i was wrong. and i guess i spoke too soon. =( fuck, this is hard. but like i said im not gonna give up on you and just put everything to waste. cause i mean you know i still hella care for you and shit, and you know i still love you…… im sorry for my mistake(s) sorry if i dont meet your standards.. but im only human. =/

..yet, i still feeel dissappointed.